Establishing a new home

How we are caring for dementia matters, so planning ahead will help with your loved ones' future, and puts things in place to make them feel comfortable. This includes establishing a new home.

Dementia has a huge impact not only on the person who has been diagnosed but also on those closest to them. It’s natural to feel apprehensive about making such a big decision and it's important to remember that you’re not alone. Our team understands that it can feel overwhelming and they can provide direct support and suggest strategies to make things easier.

What steps can I take to make the transition to care a smooth one? 

Think about a short stay in respite care to start with. Perhaps arrange to go and have lunch or participate in an activity that your loved one enjoys. This will give you both a chance to find out if the Care Community feels like a good fit and it will give you both confidence in your decision. 

What are some of the challenges I might expect? 

Moving house is among the most stressful life events. When moving house is combined with a big life change like moving into residential care, it can have a significant impact. Often the move into care comes about as a result of a traumatic event such as a fall rather than a considered decision process, so the circumstances around the move can feel overwhelming and out of the person’s control. Sometimes the person moving into care can take out their frustrations on their family if they don’t feel in control. It’s important to ensure that your loved one feels a part of the decision-making process. If this happens, try not to take it personally. Our team are here to help and support both you and your loved one through this time. 

What should my loved one bring with them when they move into care?

Home is not simply somewhere to live, it is a haven from the outside world and symbolic of who we are. Letting go of possessions accumulated over a lifetime which trigger memories of our past can lead to feelings of loss. It’s important when someone moves into care that they choose some things to bring with them that provide comfort and help to ease the transition to their new surroundings by providing security and familiarity. That might be things like soft furnishings, artwork, or ornaments with special sentimental value. Speak with our leadership team to discuss the sort of things that might make your loved one feel at home. 
 

How long will it take for my loved one to settle into the new environment?

Everyone’s different but on average you can expect most people to start feeling more comfortable and at home in around two to six weeks. It’s a big adjustment so try not to get disheartened if it seems to take a while. The most important thing is to just take each day at a time.

What should I do if my loved one seems unhappy and asks to go home?

When caring for dementia residents each day will be different. Sometimes just being aware that there will be good days and bad days means it can be easier to manage when things get tough.

Check-in with the care team to find out how your loved one’s day has been and the things they’ve enjoyed doing. That way, if they are feeling negative you can redirect the discussion to talking about the highlights of their day.

Ensure that the care team are aware of the things that your loved one likes to do so they can be included in their daily activities. This will go a long way to creating positive feelings and helping them to feel at home.

I feel guilty for bringing my loved one into care. How can I deal with this feeling?

It’s normal to feel emotions like guilt, loss and even grief when your loved one moves into residential care. You’ve probably been putting your loved one first and the rest of your life on hold for some time now. Remember that you’ve done the very best for your loved one. Dementia is a progressive disease and as the symptoms increase, caring for someone living with dementia becomes a full time job.

Many people find they experience a feeling of relief when their loved one moves into care. They are finally able to resume a more natural relationship and enjoy spending time with each other without the burden of constant care. They are also able to connect with other families who are going through the same thing often providing a wonderful support network.

Even if your loved one isn’t ready to move into long-term care, feel free to arrange for a chat with our knowledgeable team who’ll be happy to offer advice or put you in touch with other carers who are going through the same thing and can offer support and understanding about caring for dementia.